The begining of the end

With only two days left before my period is due and I got another negative test. I have officially gone numb. my heart is broken completely and i'm ready to move on. I have said this several times and never stuck with it, but I believe i'm actually ready to do it now. If I am not pregnant this cycle which I don't believe I am then I'm done. I believe I can finally say after 3 months of whatever happens happens, 2 complete years of trying to conceive, hsg, blood work, clomid, vitamins, softcups, all those crazy methods that may work I have had enough.

 Its just time for me to move on with my life and stop living in two weeks at a time and heartache. I have to be greatful for what I have and stop being mad for what I don't. This whole process has shaken my faith BIG time and when things like that happen you have to give up whatever it is that is causing you to doubt everything you thought you knew.
I've always heard if you stop trying that is when it will happen and God wont give you more than you can handle. Well here is how I feel about that at this moment...

I don't want to hear it! I honestly hope it does happen as soon as I stop trying, but for right now until I can cool down after a few days that is not what I want to hear. And as for the God doesn't give you more than you can handle; I feel like I've reached my limit which is my reason for giving up in the first place so all that does hearing those words is make me more frustrated. So that is where I stand.

I apologize for the down posts lately. hopefully I will be in better spirits in a few days.