Slacker!

I've been such a slacker lately and haven't posted in awhile and I've got to get better at taking more pictures of stuff so that I can post them on here! Seeing pictures is way more fun than just reading!

I've been super busy even though I just had a week break from school! I may have had a break from school, but that just meant working all day and before I knew it, today was here and it was back to the hospital for clinic.

This weekend will be a busy one as well.. My neighborhood is having our fall community garage sale! I went through all of the rooms in my house and pack away a lot of stuff to sale and i'm hoping that all of it goes this Saturday because I so don't want to have to find a place for it! I live kinda out in the middle of no where so i'm hoping that there is a good turn out. Last year I made about $200 which was pretty good for getting stuff together at the last minute. So i'm hoping to make at least $200 again this year!

As of tomorrow it will officially be ONE WEEK until Halloween! Its finally starting to get pretty chilly outside ( I live in SC where it sometimes is 80 on Christmas! boooo!) so my fireplace has been burning :)

 

Sweet baby loves the fires :) I don't have a picture with my little baby in front of it. She was cuddled up by me instead which is unusual. She loves fires too!

 

 

 My chalk board sign for Halloween!

 

I'm so excited that its FINALLY the holidays! I like Halloween, but Christmas is by far my absolute FAVORITE! I told my husband the other day he has to get up in the attic this weekend and get down my Christmas stuff. He said "why? Christmas isn't for another 2 months!" Me: "WHAT!?! DO you know who you married?"  wanting to throw the closest thing I could find at him! Christmas decorations go up November 1st and Christmas tree the day before Thanksgiving in this family! Oh, and look what I just got for our outside lights this year! So flipping excited! I can't wait to put it up. Our outside decorations will probably be going up earlier this year. I normally wait until after thanksgiving for that since Tyler has to help, but I guess we'll see.

 

 

New Church

After all of my moodiness the past week I have finally seen the light! Tyler and I have been visiting a church for a few months now after our church had to close its doors. That is an entirely different story, but it has been such a blessing. After the service on Sunday I looked at Tyler and said "Are you ready to join this church?" He looked at me and said "Are you?" I told him yes and he said, "Let's do it!" It was awesome and so unplanned! I mean we have talked about it before, but I guess it just wasn't the right time for us.
We have always went to church with his family. That is just the way it was and our church closing allowed us to "grow up" as a couple and make our own decision instead of doing it because that is what the family is doing. His parents have been visiting this same church with us, but I don't think they are ready to join yet, which is completely fine. It was just an amazing step for us!
I was incredibly proud of Tyler too. He is a Christian man and very educated about the Bible, but still in that shy stage. I've been praying and praying for God to help him become more outspoken and the spiritual leader for our family. So yesterday seeing him lead us to make that commitment to the church was so awesome!
 I am so excited to see where God continues to take us, but I feel like I'm right where I'm supposed to be at the moment and I feel like starting our family will be right around the corner.

Feeling Better

Of course, just when i'm feeling down and pissed at the world something happens and it reminds you things really are not that bad. I mean don't get me wrong it still sucks balls that we aren't pregnant yet, but at least I have other things in my life like my two precious dogs and loving husband.

My poor husband had to feel the wrath of Brittany this week as I was just mad at the world for whatever reason I could find. Once we talked about what we I wanted to do his response was "Well I really want a baby, but if this is what you want to do so you're not so stressed then we will try it for awhile." Talk about making someone feel bad.
Now that things I have calmed down some I feel like we do still need to "try" for the next 2 or 3 months since everyone has said "women tend to get pregnant the first 2-3 months after having an HSG" plus I just bought Tyler some vitamins to take that were recommended to me to help increase his "men." So we will be trying I guess you could say, but just not as in depth as we have been. I'm not going to really track my cycle but rather listen to my body. I guess we will see how it turns out.

The begining of the end

With only two days left before my period is due and I got another negative test. I have officially gone numb. my heart is broken completely and i'm ready to move on. I have said this several times and never stuck with it, but I believe i'm actually ready to do it now. If I am not pregnant this cycle which I don't believe I am then I'm done. I believe I can finally say after 3 months of whatever happens happens, 2 complete years of trying to conceive, hsg, blood work, clomid, vitamins, softcups, all those crazy methods that may work I have had enough.

 Its just time for me to move on with my life and stop living in two weeks at a time and heartache. I have to be greatful for what I have and stop being mad for what I don't. This whole process has shaken my faith BIG time and when things like that happen you have to give up whatever it is that is causing you to doubt everything you thought you knew.
I've always heard if you stop trying that is when it will happen and God wont give you more than you can handle. Well here is how I feel about that at this moment...

I don't want to hear it! I honestly hope it does happen as soon as I stop trying, but for right now until I can cool down after a few days that is not what I want to hear. And as for the God doesn't give you more than you can handle; I feel like I've reached my limit which is my reason for giving up in the first place so all that does hearing those words is make me more frustrated. So that is where I stand.

I apologize for the down posts lately. hopefully I will be in better spirits in a few days.